How Lisa Found a Lifeline at Her Local Library
I was exhausted, overwhelmed and feeling incredibly guilty. My dad was receiving palliative care, and while I was trying to be there for him and look after my own family, I felt like I was slowly becoming lost in everything that was happening.
I didn’t feel like myself anymore
I’m Lisa*, a local mum juggling children as well as looking after my Dad who is living with a long-term condition.
With Dad receiving palliative care, there was so much to cope with emotionally. I was trying to keep going for everyone around me, but inside I was struggling.
I was tired. Sometimes I felt angry and frustrated. Then I would immediately feel guilty for feeling that way.
I loved my dad and wanted to be there for him, so I found those emotions difficult to admit, even to myself.
Over time, I became increasingly isolated. It felt as though nobody really understood what I was going through.
And when so much of your energy is focused on caring for someone you love, finding support for yourself can easily fall to the bottom of the list.
Then I spotted something on my daughter’s school Parent Portal
I wasn’t actively searching for carer support.
I was simply looking at my daughter’s school Parent Portal when I noticed the Sandwell Carers Service timetable and saw there was a Carers group at Great Barr Library.
It was local. It felt manageable. So I decided to give it a try.
I didn’t know what to expect, but walking through the door turned out to be more important than I realised.
“It wasn’t just me”
Being around other Carers helped me realise that the emotions I was experiencing were normal.
Other people understood the exhaustion. They understood the frustration and anger. Most importantly, they understood the guilt that can come with those feelings.
I could talk openly about what I was going through without feeling that I had to explain or justify myself.
There was space for the difficult conversations, but it wasn’t all serious either. We could have a laugh and a giggle together.
That mattered more than I expected.
For a little while, I could step away from everything that was happening and simply be around people who understood.
I left feeling so much better
I noticed a difference in myself after that first group.
I arrived feeling overwhelmed and isolated, but I left feeling “so much better.”
Knowing that there was a local place where I could talk, laugh, share how I was feeling and meet other people who understood my situation gave me something to look forward to.
The group has become a bit of a lifeline for me, and I now plan to attend regularly.
My caring responsibilities haven’t disappeared, but I don’t feel quite so alone with them anymore.
Sometimes support finds you in unexpected places
If the information about the group hadn’t appeared on my daughter’s school Parent Portal, I might never have known that this support was available.
When you are caring for someone, particularly during such a difficult period, you don’t always have the time or energy to go searching for help.
Seeing that information somewhere I already visited made it easier for me to take that first step.
I’m glad I did.
If you’re caring for someone and feeling exhausted, guilty or isolated, finding people who understand can make a real difference.
You don’t have to wait until things become too much. Sometimes walking into a local Carers group and realising, “It isn’t just me,” can be the beginning of feeling like yourself again.
*(Lisa’s name and image have been changed to protect her anonymity).
Carer Groups and Drop-ins
Like Lisa, you might find support when you least expect it.
Sandwell Carers Service takes support into the heart of local communities, helping to identify and support unpaid Carers earlier – before caring becomes overwhelming or reaches crisis point.
Our friendly Carer groups and drop-ins are places where you can talk to someone who understands, get practical information and advice, meet other Carers in your local area, or simply take some time for yourself. You don’t have to wait until things become difficult to ask for support.
We offer regular drop-ins at seven libraries across Sandwell, making it easier to find support close to home. You can also find our team at Midland Metropolitan University Hospital, Sandwell Hospital, Smethwick Heritage Centre & Community Hub and St Albans Community Centre.
Find a group or drop-in near you by viewing our latest timetable or looking at our What’s On calendar.
