Caring for Mum and Dad: *Alina’s Story

Suddenly, both my parents needed me

I was already supporting my mum, who is living with dementia, when everything changed again.

My dad unexpectedly suffered a stroke.

As an only child, I suddenly found myself trying to manage the needs of two parents with very different and complex health conditions. I wanted to make sure Mum and Dad had the best possible care, but there was so much I didn’t know.

It felt like an enormous learning curve. There were new medical terms, different services and decisions to make, all while trying to cope emotionally with what was happening to my parents.

Eventually, I made the difficult decision to give up my job and become a full-time Carer.

It was a huge change to my life and, at times, it felt incredibly isolating.

Finding people who understood

Reaching out to Sandwell Carers Service gave me something I desperately needed – people who understood.

The team gave me space to talk honestly about how I was feeling. Sometimes, you don’t necessarily need someone to fix everything. You just need somebody who will listen without judgement and understand how difficult caring can be.

I could open my heart and talk about the emotional impact of caring for both Mum and Dad, knowing I was speaking to people I could trust.

That alone made a real difference.

A local group that fits around my caring role

I started attending one of the local carers groups and found it incredibly reassuring to meet other people who understood some of what I was experiencing.

For the first time, I realised I wasn’t alone.

Having groups available locally, with different dates and times, has also been important. When you are caring for two people, your days don’t always go to plan. The flexibility means I can access support when my caring responsibilities allow.

The groups give me an opportunity to step outside my caring role for a while, talk to others and look after my own wellbeing too.

Knowing help is at the end of the phone

Sandwell Carers Service has also helped me understand where to turn when I need advice.

I’ve been given useful contact details for organisations that can provide professional information and support. Instead of feeling like I have to find my way through an unfamiliar system on my own, I now know there are people I can contact when a question or difficult situation arises.

That reassurance is incredibly important.

Feeling better equipped for what lies ahead

Caring for Mum and Dad is still challenging. Mum continues to live with dementia and Dad is recovering from his stroke, so there is a lot for us to navigate as a family.

But I feel different now.

Through the information and experience I have gained from the team, particularly Tracy and Sharon, I feel better equipped to deal with the challenges that come our way.

Just as importantly, I’ve learnt that looking after my own wellbeing doesn’t mean I’m neglecting my parents. Having time to talk, connect with other Carers and ask for help gives me the resilience I need to continue caring for the people I love.

It’s been a lifeline

For me, Sandwell Carers Service has become a lifeline.

It’s a new situation for us and we didn’t know where to go. It’s been great to offload and open my heart to someone who I know I can trust. I now know someone is always there at the end of the phone. I love having such a local group that I can attend to meet others and not feel alone. I feel better equipped now because of the experience I’ve picked up from Tracy and Sharon.

My caring responsibilities haven’t disappeared, but I no longer feel that I have to carry them entirely on my own.

If you are caring for someone in Sandwell and feel overwhelmed or unsure where to turn, reaching out to Sandwell Carers Service could be the first step towards finding the information, understanding and support you need.

*(Alina’s name and image have been changed to protect her anonymity).

Carer Groups and Drop-ins

Sandwell Carers Service takes support into the heart of local communities, helping to identify and support unpaid Carers earlier – before caring becomes overwhelming or reaches crisis point.

Our friendly Carer groups and drop-ins are places where you can talk to someone who understands, get practical information and advice, meet other Carers in your local area, or simply take some time for yourself. You don’t have to wait until things become difficult to ask for support.

We offer regular drop-ins at seven libraries across Sandwell, making it easier to find support close to home. You can also find our team at Midland Metropolitan University Hospital, Sandwell Hospital, Smethwick Heritage Centre & Community Hub and St Albans Community Centre.

Find a group or drop-in near you by viewing our latest timetable or looking at our What’s On calendar.